Gus Petro for more
Source: surprisingly, not The Onion.
Face, meet palm.
“A 23-year-old Colorado woman named Samantha Malson was arrested this weekend after she choked out her boyfriend for singing ‘Thrift Shop’ by Macklemore over and over, even when she asked ’25 times’ for him to stop.”
…The people like, “damn, that’s a cold-ass honkey.”
I just spent an hour trying to find a recent photo of myself that
a) is mostly attractive
b) includes my face
and c) doesn’t make me look like a total drunken fool.
Those three criteria were more difficult to meet with a single picture than I’d like to admit, and I’m not even sure I succeeded in the end.
Why do people listen when this man speaks? Just… ugh.
So, so true. Mine moved too far away, and finding a replacement feels damn near impossible.
I don’t want to go home yet but there’s nothing really do to. Well, there are things I could be doing. There always are. But I don’t feel like doing them. I need an excuse to do something else. I don’t want to be alone but I don’t want to be overwhelmed by social obligations and politeness. I need an excuse not to think about it, or stress about it, or worry about it.
I need someone to say, “Hey, want to grab a beer real quick?”
Everyone needs someone to grab a beer with, metaphorically speaking. You could, instead, get coffee or watch a movie. It doesn’t much matter. The point is you need someone where the relationship isn’t that deep, where the hangout is relaxed and devoid of pressure. Someone where it’s not exactly small-talk but it’s not intense either. Can’t be an ex. Can’t be someone you’re…
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Jim Victor and Marie Pelton have made the world’s first and only full-sized chocolate car.
A five-million-dollar class-action lawsuit was recently filed against Anheuser-Busch for allegedly watering down their beer. While that did not surprise me, what did was the advertisement that they took out in response, seen below.
Anheuser-Busch: 1, Unnecessary Lawsuit: 0
“Reverses bulking.” Right. Because all of the girls who will end up reading this probably suffer from “I went to the gym, used the elliptical, did 50 crunches, and suddenly I’m the Hulk” Syndrome and can’t seem to figure out how to make those big muscles go away.
Anyway, if you click through to the source website, you will be told that the key to a getting a “perky butt” is to target your lats, because they crisscross across your back to connect to your glutes. That’s right, apparently targeting your lats will give you a better butt than, you know, doing an exercise that actually targets your butt. Maybe you’re supposed to clench a lot?